


Something has changed

by SubtextQween



Category: Big Little Lies (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 10:56:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14747517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextQween/pseuds/SubtextQween
Summary: The men left in their lives fought to compete with the bond they had forged that night, clinging on by their fingertips, dangling from the precipice, fighting the inevitability of being rendered completely inadequate.*I do not own Big Little Lies or any of it's charactersNon-Canon





	Something has changed

Something had changed.   
The men left in their lives had fought to compete with the bond they had forged that night, clinging on by their fingertips, dangling from the precipice, fighting the inevitability of being rendered completely inadequate. Those that remained knew sleepless nights but not the agony behind them, woke to writhing sweaty bodies, lashing out with all limbs, knew the foreboding etched into the face of their bed fellow, unsure of the reason behind their trepidation.   
What they didn’t know was that each of the women felt the ghost of Perry’s touch, the point of his elbow as it connect with rib, his bruising grip as it clasped around wrist, the way his fingers bore into neck, how his feet tunnelled into abdomen, not forgetting the feeling of his chest upon collision, then there was nothing, silence.  
None of them knew their secret, the guilt that cause bile to rise at a glimpse of their own reflection, because the eyes staring back at them were unrecognisable, coupled with brief moments of putrid satisfaction, some part of them proud they had rid the earth of such repugnance. The men watched in the silence, for the moments their fingers would danse macabre across their delicate throats, tracing a wound not there.   
There was a jealously brewing just below the surface, threatening to boil over, entrenching itself with every vibration of a mobile phone, every concealed text message, every whispered midnight conversation, that halted upon his entrance into a room. There was no fighting, no shouting and no desperate pleas to understand, each man knew that whatever had bound these women together so completely, was not meant for them to comprehend.

“Maddie,”  
“Madeline,”   
“Madeline,” on the final try the woman whose attention he begged for, was on him as he crouched at her feet, her eyes met his and yet it still felt like she was looking right through him. She sat on their couch, feet tucked under herself, she looked so small.  
“Maddie, I can’t do this anymore, I…” before he could finish his sentence, she reached out and let her hand cup his cheek, she closed her eyes, biting back tears.   
“I know…” She let out a small gasp as she felt his lips press lightly against her palm, she pulled her hand away as though she had been scalded. He rose to his feet, defeat evident in his features.   
“I can’t stay… I think it’s for the best for both of us, for Chloe.” Madeline looked over her shoulder towards the door and was confronted with 2 suitcases.   
“Jeez Ed, I’m surprised you even stopped to fill me in on your way out the door.” She scoffed, she didn’t mean it, truthfully, she knew it was coming and she didn’t blame him either. She had thought about this moment a few weeks back and tried to imagine how it would feel, regretfully she felt nothing then and even less now.   
She stared at him vacantly, “Call me if you need anything, I will send you the address of my new apartment, when I get settle in, for Chloe.” Ed turned away from her and headed for the door. “How long have you been planning this?” Maddie asked quietly.   
Without turning to face her, he answered “Trivia night, right around the time I figured out you had slept with Joseph.” There was no malice in his words, it was a simple admission.  
Madeline did not respond, “I stuck around because, despite all that, I thought you need me, Maddie. But I don’t think you ever did.”   
Ed’s hand wrapped itself around the doorknob, “I did need you…” She turned expecting her eyes to meet his but was just in time to see the door close softly behind him. 

Tears streamed steadily down her cheeks, she gripped the pillow in her lap so tight her knuckles had turned white, her nails dug into her palms of her hand, through the fabric. She didn’t notice the pain, for a split second she was numb. She was swiftly pulled from the moment when she heard a noise behind her, she spun around. “Ed?”   
She looked to the front door and there was nothing, she scoured her surrounding area, in search of the source. Then she spotted the tiny figure standing in the shadows of the hall, “Chloe, honey?” Her daughter cautiously made her way into the dull light of the living room, “Come here baby.” The little girl hurried to her mother and buried herself into her chest. She was crying, Madeline could feel fresh tears soaking her shirt.   
This brought back memories of holding Abigail when Nathan left, she had thought if this ever happened again she would be more prepared, truth was she still had no clue what to do, she just held her tighter, rocking her slightly in the hopes that it would soothe the child.   
Eventually she felt Chloe’s tiny frame go limp and heavy against her, she was asleep. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she gently rose to her feet, trying desperately not to wake her daughter. She carried her to her bedroom, laid her gently on her bed, she tucked the covers around her and turned to head for the door. Taking one last look back, at the sleeping child, she asked herself, how did she let this happen again?

She made her way back into the living and for the first time in a while, noted her phone on the table. It lit up, she lifted it and was confronted with about thirty unread messages, and two missed call from Jane and Celeste. She picked up the phone and dialled a number, it was answered after one ring.   
“Hey Lady, you went MIA on us tonight.” The other side of the phone was silent, Madeline said nothing. “Maddie, are you there? Are you ok?” Madeline was draw back by the voice at the other end of the phone eventually, “Maddie, what is going on? Talk to me.” The worry very evident in Jane’s voice snapped her out of her stupor. “Ed left.” When she spoke her voice was hoarse, she was surprised that Jane heard her.   
“Maddie, I am so sorry, are you…never-mind what a stupid question, do you need anything?” Jane kicked herself for almost asking the most redundant question on earth, she thought to herself, why do people do it. You are having one of the worst, if not the very worst day of your life and people insist on asking you, if you are ok. “I don’t want to be alone.”  
Madeline’s words stung, “Oh Maddie, I am so sorry, I just got Ziggy to sleep and I can’t call anyone at this hour.” Madeline finally registered the time, it was 12.30am. “I know…Don’t worry about me. I am going to go to bed anyway. Try to sleep. I will speak to you tomorrow.” She didn’t even give the other woman a chance to respond.   
She did not go to bed, she didn’t even have the energy to peel herself from the couch. She sat in the same position, allowing more time to pass unnoticed. Her own trying to batter down the wall she had constructed around them, her default mode, self-preservation. She almost didn’t hear the soft knock at the door.   
She signed and got to her feet, she had told Jane she was ok, had she dragged poor Ziggy from his peaceful slumber just to check on her. She reached the door and pulled it open gently. She looked on in disbelief, the person standing in her doorway was not Jane, but rather her former rival Renata Kleine. She looked down at her feet, embarrassed by how she looked, she was wearing sweatpants and a ratty old t-shirt, now slightly damp with Chloe’s tears. And there stood the most statuesque woman, dressed immaculately, hair styled to perfection. She wrapped her arms around her body tightly, insecurity getting the better of her. “I told Jane, that I was fine.” She almost whispered the sentence.   
Renata didn’t say a word, she simply brushed right passed her and lightly took Madeline’s hand in her own on the way past, carefully leading her back to the couch. Madeline sat in the corner she had previously occupied and had expected the other woman to mirror her at the other end. “Renata, I’m fine.” She choked out. She was surprised to find herself instantly envelope by the other woman’s embrace. Two strong arms wrapped around her and she broke.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think, should I keep going? All feedback welcome.


End file.
